


sleep well

by kartacze



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Love Confessions, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-12 17:37:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16000094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kartacze/pseuds/kartacze
Summary: There was no way Makoto could admit he spent sleepless nights thinking about how lucky he is to be good friends with Subaru, but also how much he wants to get even closer to him.





	sleep well

Despite being terribly tired, Makoto couldn’t fall asleep.

The quickly approaching SS pressed Trickstar to work harder and harder. They made sure not to exert themselves too much, but practices, lives, broadcasting committee, on top of that classes and occasionally even tennis club certainly drained most, if not all of Makoto’s energy. It would have been alright if he could rest properly, yet it was already well after midnight and he was lying awake, tossing and turning. He didn’t expect getting more than three hours of sleep, just like yesterday and the day before.

He knew that at this point his exhaustion wouldn’t go unnoticed. He was sure someone would ask him about it and he would have to come up with a believable excuse because he couldn’t just honestly tell anyone why he was so tired. There was no way Makoto could admit he spent sleepless nights thinking about how lucky he is to be good friends with Subaru, but also how much he wants to get even closer to him.

Makoto heard his laugh everyday, but he wished he could make him laugh much more. Subaru hugged him whenever he got a chance, but he wished he would hold him at least a little longer. It was easy to talk with him, but he wished it was just as easy to kiss him.

Countless scenarios filled his head and all of them only made him more embarrassed and frustrated. He’d imagined confessing many times, but he didn’t really know how Subaru would react. The possibility of his best friend returning his feelings was left to Makoto’s most self-indulgent fantasies, which he didn’t even believe could ever come true.

Maybe it would be for the best if their relationship didn’t change at all. He had been dealing with his crush for months, but he had been happy with being just friends. It wasn’t like he had been repressing his feelings, he just let them be. He acknowledged them without letting them affect their friendship. But for the past few days, maybe weeks, Subaru had been practically spoiling him with hugs, compliments and casual “I love you”s. Even though the affection made Makoto incredibly happy, his cheeks were burning unbearably, his heart was beating way too fast and he didn’t know what to do about it.

They spent a lot of time together, it probably gave Subaru many chances to be affectionate. Most likely he let himself be influenced by his feelings too much and he just exaggerated. But was it worth losing sleep over?

 

* * *

 

He overslept.

Makoto was glad he’d managed to get at least some sleep. Of course it wasn’t as much as he needed, his eyes stung like hell and he had only just enough energy to move his legs, but it would had been much worse if he hadn’t slept at all. He’d rather not be late for school though. Despite skipping breakfast and doing his best to get ready as fast as humanly possible, he still barely made it before the first class started.

Finally he walked into the classroom and before he knew it, his glasses were taken off.

“You let your guard down, Ukki~! That’s a new record. Good morning!”

“Good morning, Akehoshi-kun. You were so fast, you surprised me! But pleeaasee give me back my glasses now.”

It had become their routine. They came to school, exchanged greetings and Subaru got his hands on Makoto’s glasses as quickly as possible. At first he hadn’t known how to feel about it — he’s much more comfortable when his glasses are on his face and he’d rather not have them taken off without any serious reason, but seeing Subaru’s satisfied face as he triumphantly held the frames every time he got them faster than before made him unable to get angry. Besides, he did that just for fun. Did Akehoshi-kun think it would be better if he didn’t wear them at all? He probably did, but he likely also understood it would be difficult for Makoto, so he never pushed him to get rid of them.

“Hmmm~ Ukki, you’re not really energetic today, are you ok?” Subaru stared at him with a concerned look, getting his face so near to Makoto’s that it made him take a step back.

“I-I’m ok! I overslept so I haven’t fully woken up yet.”

He noticed way too quickly and he was way too close. Not only was it impossible to stay calm when his crush was gazing at him so intently, but also Makoto started feeling self-conscious about the dark circles under his eyes he didn’t even have the time to try covering up with make-up.

“Good morning, Yuuki. Akehoshi, stop that, you’re making him uncomfortable,” Hokuto scolded, leaning back in his chair slightly.

“Oh, right. Sorry, sorry~”

Before Makoto managed to say anything, the teacher walked into the classroom. Subaru swiftly put the glasses back on Makoto’s face, gave him one of his cutest smiles and rushed to his desk.

 

* * *

 

The class passed in the blink of an eye. Most likely because when blinking, Makoto didn’t always open his eyes right away. Seeing unfinished sentences and a bunch of wiggly lines that were supposed to be words in his notes, he had no doubt he had nodded off a few times. At least no one noticed — or so he thought.

“Ukki, did you not sleep all night or something? Were you playing that new game? You shouldn’t stay up on school nights!” Subaru sat in front of Makoto and rested his elbows on the desk, his eyebrows furrowed.

“I did sleep! A little bit... Enough to oversleep… Anyway, Akehoshi-kun, you’re not one to talk, you tend to stay up all night and then sleep through the whole class, even Hidaka-kun can’t wake you up. I was at least awake enough to note something. I’m not sure if those notes will be useful, but still.”

Subaru pressed his palms against his own cheeks, making a clearly dissatisfied, but funny face. “I guess you’ve got a point… Collecting coins in games is fun, sometimes I just can’t stop, you know? But Ukki, you should have more self-control than me.”

Makoto adjusted his glasses, not saying anything and avoiding eye contact. He didn’t want to lie, it wasn’t about games and self-control, but he’d rather Subaru believed that was the case.

“You really look terrible today,” Subaru sighed. “Should we look for a good place for a nap?”

“What? No, Akehoshi-kun, there’s no need to! I don’t want to skip classes just because I’m a little tired.”

“You’re not a little tired. I’ve seen you a little tired. I’ve seen you extremely tired too, and you’re much closer to that now. Wait, you wouldn’t be THAT tired after just one night, was it a few in a row? Geez, Ukki, then you really should get some sleep! And it’s not like anything bad will happen if we skip a few classes~”

“...We?”

“Yuuki, he might be right,” Hokuto interrupted. “You’re working very hard, you should be careful not to wear yourself down. Not having a good sleeping pattern is an easy way to ruin your health, so make sure to sleep properly at night. But for now you should go to the infirmary and rest.”

“See! Even Hokke is on my side.”

“Akehoshi, you stay in class though.”

“Hokke betrayed me!”

“There’s no reason for you to go with him.”

“There is! I’ll make sure he gets there safely and falls asleep. I’ll sing him a lullaby if he needs one.”

“He can barely keep his eyes open, he doesn’t need one.”

“Ugh! Whatever, I’ll take Ukki to the infirmary and come back,” Subaru fumed and stood up. He reached for Makoto’s hand and pulled him towards himself, prompting him to stand up as well.

“So I really don’t have a choice?”

“Absolutely not~ Let’s go.”

Walking through the corridor reminded Makoto how exhausted he truly is. It’s not as easy to fall asleep while moving around as it is when sitting, but at the moment he just wanted to lie down. Subaru and Hokuto were right, he was just being unreasonably stubborn because firstly, he didn’t want them to worry and secondly, he didn’t want to believe he’s that beat. It’d be humiliating to admit he was dead tired as a result of thinking too much about his relationship with his best friend, who right now is… _Oh._

“...Akehoshi-kun, why are you still holding my hand?”

“Hm? What, Ukki, are you embarrassed?” Subaru laughed. “You’re kinda quiet today so I was worried you would disappear somewhere and I wouldn’t even notice. This way I know you’re still with me~ is it okay with you?”

“Y-yeah, I guess…”

“Good!” Subaru lightly squeezed Makoto’s hand, which made him involuntarily smile.

Parading around the school like that was embarrassing and it reminded him of all the things he’d thought about at night, but actually having a reason to hold hands made him a little calmer about this situation. Subaru’s grip was warm and comforting, Makoto didn’t want him to let go.

“Now I'm curious, Ukki, was it really such a good game?” he asked, swinging their arms slightly.

“No, I— Not really, I just couldn't fall asleep for some reason… I’ll try not to use my phone before going to bed, it could help.”

“I hope it will! But if it won't, you can always call me and I really will sing you a lullaby~”

Makoto nearly tripped over his own feet. It was the second time he mentioned singing a lullaby today and as much as it sounded like a joke, it actually was possible he was serious about it. Every time Subaru decided he wanted to do something, he would immediately set his sights on it, which was both endearing and troublesome.

“Haha, I don't think I'll need that, Akehoshi-kun! But thank you, I appreciate it.”

“If there’s any way I can help you, I’ll do anything, you just have to tell me! Ah, here’s the infirmary. Mission accomplished~♪” Subaru opened the door and took a peek into the room. “Hmm, it looks like there's no one here. Not even Sagami-chan, that’s unusual!”

Makoto made his way to one of the beds and plopped on it right away. “Aahhh, you guys were right, that’s what I need now.”

“Of course you do! Why didn’t you just agree to come here in the first place?”

Before he could answer the question, Makoto was already asleep, snoring quietly.

 

* * *

 

Feeling additional weight being put on the side of the bed woke him up. He slowly opened his eyes and blinked a few times, trying to clear his vision.

“Mmm… My glasses…”

“I took them off! You always do that when you go to sleep, but this time you fell asleep before you managed to, so I thought I should do it for you~”

“Okay, thank you… Wait. Akehoshi-kun? Weren’t you supposed to go back to class?”

“I did! School's over already. Oh, yeah, and we don’t have practice today, so you should go home and take it easy. I’ll make sure to do all the homework, you can copy it from me tomorrow!”

“It's okay, I can do it myself! I feel better now,” Makoto rubbed his eyes, still a little sleepy. “Ah, maybe I shouldn't have said that, it would be good if you did your homework for once,” he said playfully.

“Wow, Ukki, you're so mean! I don't always forget it, you know!”

“I'm joking, I'm joking,” Makoto laughed lightly and sat up. “Sorry for making you worry. I mean, about me not sleeping enough.”

“You don't have to apologize, just take care of your health. It was so lonely without you, Ukki!”

“Akehoshi-kun, it was just a few hours… It was just a few hours, right? I— I didn’t sleep for a week or month, right?”

Suddenly Subaru’s smile faded. He looked down and then back up with hesitation, his expression bothered or even pained.

“I wasn’t supposed to tell you that, but… Ukki, we… We tried to wake you up, we really tried, but you kept sleeping… SS was a week ago. We ended up having to withdraw because we didn’t want to perform without you.”

The color drained out of Makoto’s face as he stared at his friend in disbelief, shaken by what he had just heard.

“...No, it can’t be— Akehoshi-kun, is that true?”  
  
Subaru immediately burst out laughing.

“Noo, it really was just a few hours! Wooow, I wanted to keep the joke going for a little longer, but seeing your face made it impossible, it was amazing, it’s a shame you couldn’t see it, hahaha!”

His pale cheeks turned pink in a matter of seconds. Makoto actually believed him for a moment and wanted to blame it on his still evident drowsiness, but making excuses would have been plain embarrassing. Instead, he smiled awkwardly and ran a hand through his hair, trying to fix his bed head.

“Hey, I always thought Hidaka-kun is supposed to be the actor.”

“It’s not like I’m going to take that away from him~ I just thought it would be funny. You're so fun, I love you, Ukki! Even if it’s only a couple of hours, it isn’t the same without you.”

Makoto felt butterflies in his stomach. Being generously showered with love by his best friend was nothing new, yet it was overwhelming, filling him with so much warmth alongside a faint hope and crushing need for something more. Of course Subaru didn’t know that, or rather Makoto hoped he didn’t, but it was almost like he’s doing that on purpose.

“Hahah, I love you too, Akehoshi-kun!”

It was unfair.

“...Ukki, is something wrong? Are you sad that you missed today’s special menu? Cheer up, it wasn’t even that good!”

It was unfair for both of them.

“No, that’s not it,” Makoto hugged his knees to his chest. “Akehoshi-kun, I wasn’t playing games. I just— I couldn’t sleep because I’ve been thinking about… some things a lot lately.”

It was too much.

“What things? Is something bothering you, Ukki? You can tell me!”

He wanted to tell him.

“No, it’s… I don’t know, it’s embarrassing…”

He should tell him.

“Come on, you’re just making me more curious! We’re best friends, right? We can talk about embarrassing stuff!”

Despite the burning need to finally make Subaru fully aware of his feelings, Makoto still hesitated. It was impossible for him to predict what could happen next. Even though he believed the most probable outcome was their relationship not changing at all because Subaru saw them only as best friends of The Idiot Duo — which Makoto didn’t mind at all, it already was enough — all his muscles tensed up and his mouth went dry, certainly not making it easier to speak. But he wanted to talk about it, he wanted to stop hiding it, he wanted to know what Subaru thought about it.

“It was mostly about you, Akehoshi-kun.” With every word his voice got quieter and quieter, turning into a whisper. Makoto didn’t know if he heard him. He still wasn’t sure if he wanted him to. Maybe he still wasn’t ready, maybe he should change the topic and text him about it later, that would be at least a little less nerve-wracking. Silence filled the infirmary, keeping him on the edge.

Finally Subaru laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. “About me? Why? Did I do something wrong?”

Makoto’s eyes opened wide and he tensed up even more, which he hadn’t thought was possible. “No, of course not! Rather the opposite— I mean— you’re— ughh!” He hid his bright red face in his palms and closed his eyes. There was no turning back now. He could say he didn’t want to talk about that, but it would only leave Subaru with even more questions.

The countless scenarios that had filled his head just a while ago were gone. He had always thought so much about how he would confess, what he would tell him, which words he would use. Now his mind was completely empty, leaving him with neither script nor references, but he had to say something, anything.

Makoto took a deep breath and looked up at Subaru.

“Akehoshi-kun, I’m in love with you. I couldn’t sleep at night because I’ve been thinking way too much about… um... how nice it would be to be your boyfriend.”

Makoto noticed Subaru’s cheeks flush, slowly painting his features a shade that probably could compete with the red of his own face. There was no response for what felt like forever, even though just a few seconds passed. At the moment his poor eyesight was a torture, he couldn’t read anything from his expression, he wanted to at least try spotting the smallest hint of what he thought. His hand itched to reach for his glasses, but he couldn’t even move a finger.

“Is that true? Ukki, do you want to be my boyfriend?”

Subaru’s voice was small and gentle, a soft tone he had never heard before. Paired with his words it was breathtaking. The way he asked the question completely overwhelmed Makoto, who only answered with a nod.

“When did you figure it out?”

“You mean, when did I— um, I’m— I’m not sure, but I’ve had a crush on you for a few months and it kept getting more… intense…”

Subaru shifted on the bed, sitting cross-legged in front of him. Now that he was closer, Makoto could see him a tiny bit more clearly. He gazed into his green eyes with determination that was almost intimidating, but there also was a visible hint of uncertainty he probably would never notice if he didn’t know Subaru well enough.

“Ukki, you should have told me sooner. That would’ve been so much easier for both of us.”

“...What do you mean?” he asked, his head tilted to the side in confusion.

“I feel the same. I want you to be my boyfriend, Ukki. You’ve always been special to me, you know? Meeting you that one day in the game club’s clubroom was one of the best things that have happened to me at this school, being your classmate is another one, performing on the same stage with you is yet another one and being so close to you is the best of them all! I love you a little differently than I love everyone else, but I thought that’s just what it’s like to have a best friend. I’ve realized what those feelings really are just a while ago. That’s why it would’ve been easier if you told me about yours right away! If I started thinking about that stuff sooner, maybe it wouldn’t take me so long to understand it. And you wouldn’t be losing sleep.”

“Wait. Wait wait wait wait wait. So that means… You love me… romantically?”

“Yep, it seems like it~”

“And we’re boyfriends now?”

“That’s what we both want, right? So yeah, we are!”

Trying to collect his thoughts, Makoto stared at his own hands that rested on his knees. He had fallen for Akehoshi Subaru, the most radiant boy he’d ever known, the one he’d always admired and had so much fun with, the one who had always believed in him and supported him. He had been going to keep it to himself, but he ended up getting carried away and confessed. It was unplanned, awkward and not even nearly as romantic as he’d imagined it would be, but finding out that his feelings are reciprocated was worth it. He’d never expected this to happen, he wondered if he had perhaps fallen asleep and was dreaming, but it felt too real to be a dream. Tears started welling up in his eyes, making his vision even more blurry.

“Ah— Ukki, are you ok? Did I say something wrong?”

“No, no, I’m just… I’m so happy, Akehoshi-kun. I love you.”

Subaru exhaled loudly. “Geez, Ukki, stop worrying me, that’s too much for one day.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Makoto giggled, wiping the tears with his sleeve. “Hey, Akehoshi-kun, there still is something I’m wondering about. You said you’ve figured out what you’re feeling towards me a while ago, but it wasn’t today, right? So why didn’t you tell me until now?”

“What kind of question is that? You should know the best it’s not easy! I was too scared to. But it’s not important now, we don’t have to talk about it!” he laughed awkwardly. “Oh, crap. I told mom that I’ll be home earlier today, I should be going. Is there anything you need before I leave?”

“A kiss?” The words rolled off his tongue without him noticing. It didn’t register in his brain for the next few seconds, but when it finally did, he was mortified. “Wait, no, I— you don’t have to, forget what I’ve just said! It was—”

He couldn’t finish the sentence, interrupted by Subaru moving closer to him and giving his boyfriend a small kiss. Makoto made a tiny, surprised noise as he felt soft lips brushing against his own. It was merely a short second, but the touch left a burning, lingering warmth. Subaru let out a giggle, looking at his dazed expression, then he reached for the glasses and put them on Makoto’s face, similarly to the way he had done it in the morning.

“Okay, I’ll be going now!” he jumped off the bed and rushed towards the door. He stopped in the door frame and turned around, waving Makoto goodbye. “I hope you’ll sleep well tonight! Bye bye, see you tomorrow~!”

“Oh— Thanks! See you, Akehoshi-kun!”

Subaru one more time showed Makoto that sweet, genuine beam that always made him melt, filling him with boundless amount of love. The door closed shortly after and he was left alone in the quiet infirmary, unable to hear anything else than his rapid heartbeat. He put his fingertips up to his lips that, he didn't even know when, stretched into a smile. They were almost painfully hot, but it wasn’t unpleasant.

He loved Subaru and Subaru really loved him too, he heard it, saw it, felt it.

Eventually he got out of the bed. Makoto didn’t exactly know what time it was, but he was sure it’s time to go home.

_I hope I’ll sleep well, too._

**Author's Note:**

> hi i love subamako...  
> i was really excited to write my first fic and i almost can't believe i actually did that?? i've never been good with words so i had to put so much effort into it gndfjgnjdfnj honestly i probably wouldn't even be able to finish it if not for my friends who supported me, big thanks to you guys! ♡ ;o;  
> and thank you for reading!!! i hope you enjoyed it ♡


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